Fear is inherent in people, it is a part of life, although many people, in this self-centered world, seem to create an illusion or misconceptions that there is nothing to fear. Fear should never be supressed, because doing so increases the risk of man seeing him- or herself as god, in the sense that fear is beyond reach. The thing about fear is, it demands respect and therefore one should learn to live side by side with fear, doing so also respects the wonderful fragile and loving dimension of humanity, from which love also stems. Digging deep helps us deal with fear, because all things have a deeper dimension and many, even hidden, fears may surface and disappear when confronted through constructive dialogue with our inner self, heart and soul, not mind.
When we look to face our fears, it would be good idea to start by exploring our own background, history, lifestyle, values, and submissive nature to follow rather than lead. Our immediate environment shapes and guides our lives, much more than we think, which no doubt is a good thing since almost anything in life can actually change. The problem is that there are no shortcuts for achieving real change, because it requires time, awareness, commitment and personal growth. Conscious change, the only one that has any real impact, requires us to experiences 'aha' moments. Sometimes we can be helped on our way by other people to better understand ourselves, however it is important to understand that the answers we seek need to come from ourselves. One must also dare to open their heart and listen to the senses, as well as everything that surrounds and impacts us, which in turn will bring us closer to understanding how different things in life are connected with our existence and wellbeing.
Some of the biggest fear topics that tend to burden people are:
- Death and accepting that life will come to an end one day (purpose of life and existence)
- Economic situation, ownership and personal property (selfishness and self-centered thinking)
- Environment and work (adaptability, place and fit into society)
- Closure, self-esteem and loneliness (do I dare to be and believe in myself)
- Love and intimacy (do I love enough and am I loved)
These and other topics are worth exploring, as most people do have some internal, conscious or unconscious, blocks. Exploring and facing up to our fears early significantly enhances our quality of life, which is why it is always a worthwhile activity. There is no immediate hurry however, make sure you identify a genuine and reliable friend who has the ability to listen, explore things with them through constructive conversation, and repeat the same exercise with another person you trust to gain a broad perspective on the matter at hand. Opening up difficult subjects helps one to better understand the challenge and what kind of changes might be needed in terms of lifestyle and mind-set. Reaching insights might in turn justify the use of, and appointment of, professional assistance, if subjects are too difficult to deal with on a personal level.
Unfortunately, too many people are receiving, or investing in, the wrong type of support, coaching, treatment, medicine, psychotherapy etc., especially when it comes to mental health and trauma treatment. There are some major risks associated with treating the mental side and fear, and the often quick commercial solutions on offer may actually not resolve, but rather worsen things, not only in the short, but especially, in the long run. For this reason self-care and awareness is very important and can go a long way, one however has to want to care for oneself first and be open to change, rather than immediately running into the nearest pair of arms offering a quick fix. The real true currency in mental treatment is lifestyle, time and resilience, rather than treatment, pills and medicine, which should be seen as secondary options, because in many cases they can have a very negative effect on quality of life.
I have personally gone through many difficult and challenging spells and situations in my life, but I have always worked on my own demons and understanding of my fears. Dialogue is necessary, however finding a deeper understanding and balance in life is even more crucial, I cannot stress enough the role balance and healthy lifestyle play in keeping our mind away from destructive and negative thoughts especially under pressure and stress. Negativity has the ability to take over our mind and turn us into self-centered and somewhat self-destructive beings. Positive and sustainable lifestyle choices, especially when it comes to food, drink, friends and work, are the best way to strengthen our own mind and body. Removing negative and bad things influencing our lives helps us stay in the light and deal with our fears much more effectively.
Author │ Niklas Christides